The Marine

Year: 2006
Director: John Bonito
Cast: John Cena, Kelly Carlson, Robert Patrick

I remember the first film starring a professional wrestler that I had watched. It was No Holds Barred starring Hulk Hogan, which wasn't half bad. Then I saw my favourite star The Rock appear in The Mummy Returns (forget the final fight scene where he was rendered digitally), The Scorpion King and The Rundown. The Rock can certainly act, and be a convincing action star.

But what about John Cena, you ask? If you're a fan of the WWE, you'll notice that Vince McMahon, chairman of the company is selling Cena the same way he sold The Rock to the audience, by promoting him as a hero for the fans. And they do love him to bits. As far as wrestling goes, Cena is the man right now, being WWE champion and all. But as an actor? That's something else.

In The Marine, Cena plays John Triton, a marine who disobeys orders during a mission in Iraq to save his fellow men. Because of that, his superiors discharge him and sends him home. (Shouldn't they give him a medal instead?) He comes home to his pretty wife, Kate (Carlson) and soon they go on a cross country trip. Unfortunately, they run into a gang of diamond thieves on the run, led by Rome (Patrick). The gang waste no time in killing people and cops at a gas station, and take Kate hostage. John is in hot pursuit, in true, old fashioned, one man mission style.

Being an action film with a really simple plot, there isn't much to think about, just sit back and enjoy it, right? Well, not quite. Times have changed, and action films should be a little smarter and more logical. For example, the gang really know nothing about being discreet, having absolutely no qualms about shooting everything and everyone in sight, even blowing up a police car in the middle of the city. What kind of criminal would want that much attention? Then there's that car chase scene between Cena and the gang, where they literally turn the former's car into swiss cheese with hundreds of bullets, and yet it just keeps running! If cars like that existed, I'd want one too.

And Cena? He does okay, if you want the kind of action man that just looks tough and cool, similar to Van Damme, Seagal and Keanu Reeves. Patrick does fine playing the bad guy, it's a walk in the park for an actor like him, though I wish the writers gave his character a bigger brain to think with. The most annoying character is Morgan, played by Anthony Ray Parker, who says and does the stupidest things on film. Whose idea was it to put this guy in this?

It's by no means the worst action film ever made, but it has a lot of room for improvement. I've seen better storylines in WWE than in this movie. The only thing worth remembering is a joke made in reference to Patrick's most famous Hollywood character. Other than that, don't bother with this film too much. (2.5/5)